She's Baaaaack

WHOA!!! Whatta side trip I've been on! Somehow, without me even being conscious of it I musta slipped into shadowland or something. The past few days, maybe a week even, I'm not at all sure when it started, I've been being something other than my authentic self.

I have no idea why I slipped away from myself, but I did. I guess I allowed the collective consciousness of fear, frustration and impotence to overwhelm me, and colour my view of the world. I got into 'fix it' mode. Wanting to somehow just turn things around and make everything wonderful for everyone. I felt helpless and frustrated because it seemed there was nothing I could do in a world which needs SO MUCH doing.

Ya know, it's funny, there were posts about folks feeling lousy recently, and I didn't really relate because physically the body felt fine. I didn't even realize that whatever that strange energy was, it had simply affected my perception, rather than giving me a headache or being sleepless or whatever.

Perhaps it was a balancing of my male and female energies? The masculine energies wanted to go out and 'do battle' against what I perceived as 'wrong' or negative. The feminine energies musta been sleeping or something, I dunno. I'm not a warrior...but lately I've been feeling like one.

Last night I had a serious talk with myself, with all my selves. I was feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, without realizing why. Funny, when you are IN shadowland, you can't see it. It FEELS real. In a long, and I gotta admit, hard fought, meditation, I remembered ME, the authentic me, who trusts and believes in Universe and has complete awareness of the perfection of Divine Plan.

If I've left a trail of shadows behind myself here in Lightworkers, I sincerely apologize to each and every member of this family. I haven't quite figured what this was all about, but I am sure there was a purpose to it all, a lesson, and I'm equally sure that it will make itself apparent to me any minute now.

I'd like to introduce you all to my 'new' avatar. Actually, she's been my avatar for years, but when I came here, for some reason I couldn't load her in. A precursor to this experience maybe? Anyway, she is Ecstacy, painted by Maxfield Parrish in the early 1900's.
Now that I'm feeling my authentic self again, it seemed appropriate to make the effort to get her back as my representative...and...my skin is fitting comfortably again.

yarra