Setting boundaries and releasing guilt for doing so

Guilt, why do I feel guilt for setting boundaries with those closest to me? Probably because of past conditioning. I am at a point in my own creation where I am no longer willing to be whined at and made to feel selfish for wanting things for myself. Yet, I know my family is not going to be thrilled by what I am sure they will consider mom being selfish. Doesn't she even care how we feel? Right now my answer is, "No," I only care how I feel, and I choose to feel good about myself and my choices to do just that.

I guess I am asking how others of us have done that with or without coming across as uncaring. How do we do it firmly and with love? How do we do it without screaming at them to keep their damned bellyaching to themselves?

I truly appreciate any input from those who have experienced this, and also from those who may have never experienced a similar situation. :-)

With love and gratitude.

Robin