Forgive or not forgive?

This is about my thoughts on forgiving people that have behaved in a way that caused me so much suffering. I realised that those ones who have hurt me have been in fact like teachers. I gave them a promotion! :) I say this because after months of feeling down about what they did to me I came to understand that I have hurt people too in this or other life, however I (ego) forgot I did. In that sense we are equal.

I had to work very hard to get to the point of forgiveness; I had to struggle, experienced destructive anger, dark feeling of sadness, self pity and depression. The huge lesson that I got from this state of suffering refers to love. I learned that forgiveness is about me rather than the other person. I am the one who needs to be forgiven for whatever I believe did wrong that allowed them to hurt me. Then I thought…ok…I allowed it therefore there is something important here that I have to analyse and a question came to my mind: Did I previously plan this experience? and “programmed” this life exactly this way in order to experience this double betrayal? So I chose it. This explanation is more acceptable to me than the explanation of past lives’ karma. I don’t believe in karma as I include it in the manipulation business, where this is a thought form to keep human beings under control.

After all the people that were nasty to me in reality do not matter anymore and my conclusion is that they are no longer as a mirror for me to project my own imperfections. I have moved on and more importantly I am not identified with them anymore. So I left them go and now I am looking to another direction gazing the far away rainbow in the horizon and there is no longer dark sadness for me.

Thank you for reading this.
Healing, light and love to all :)