Obligatorium

I feel bad for neglecting this place. I just don't seem to feel the drive to write lately, and well if I'm not writing I'm not really reading or going on community style websites. I don't know, my creative side has been taking a back seat to my practical side lately, I've been trying to get myself back on my feet (again). I didn't handle things all that well for a week or two after the surgery. For those of you without testicles, let me tell you. when someone does something like that to them, it does not leave your mind in its happy place.... at ALL
Anyways, my operation went well enough, but i've been left with some minor complications. I'm still quite swollen and incredibly tender and uncomfortable. It hurts to stand up first thing in the morning because of gravity, but I'm taking it in stride as best I can. The surgery incision is healing nicely at least, but according to the doctor (I went for a follow up yesterday) the swelling is caused by a Hydrocele which was formed due to the surgery. so in other words they created another problem by fixing mine... whats not to love about western medicine. A hydrocele is basically just a buildup of fluid, and he says it should go away on its own in the next month or two, and if it doesn't they'll poke a hole with a needle and drain it out, hurray...!

Aside from all of that drama and discomfort I'm doing well though. I had my first flight lesson today, it left me feeling exhilarated and excited to start learning more. My instructor said I did perfectly, and infinitely better than most students on their first flight. He said that most people are afraid of the rudder pedals until the 3rd or 4th, but that I seemed to have no problem correcting the slip of the plane in a turn (you have to bank, apply a bit of pitch up, and a bit of rudder to make a smooth turn, if you just apply the ailerons and bank you will drop the nose and yaw/fishtail the back end) and he also said that I was very smooth which is great because most people have a lot of difficulty overcoming the agressive and choppy use of the controls. (must be all those videogames, and driving standard)
I'm really happy with my choice of instructor too, he's very peaceful and nice, and has a boyish myschief to him, which I like. He was a bush pilot up north until 9/11 when like most pilots at the time his whole operation was shut down. And I want to be a bush pilot eventually, so I'm excited to learn from him. His eyes lit up when I said I wanted to be a bush pilot, which made me feel good. I think he probably doesn't get too many really passionate people who are on the same page, so I'm glad that we connected. I think its really important to be close and friendly with your teachers. You need to learn each others' nuances before you can really start learning anything intensely.

but anyways, I'm ranting. I just wanted to write something down, a trail of crumbs for the internet world to know I'm still alive.

I feel like I've been neglecting an old friend these past months that I haven't been writing. but I just... feel like everything I put down in words was so full of it. I need to reorient myself with my creative side before I can start producing from it again. Everything seems so contrived right now because I struggle too much, and until it will flow out of me, I won't force it.

but some day I'll write something real again, when my words are ready.