emotional

Lately I have been so annoyed with everyone my kids, my husband, people on the road, I don't like going shopping because its so loud and people are moving slow.
Last night I slept maybe 2 hours and spent the rest of my awake time on here looking for something to uplift me.
I know deep down inside that I found this site for a reason that I was led to it, but I find myself asking well... Now what?
cant center myself I want to meditate but I cant still my mind long enough to do so .. Its driving me crazy !
I want to meet my spirit guide (s) lately I will be doing something and out of the corner of my eye I will see something move but no one is in the room but me I am not afraid but its bothering me.
I guess I am waiting for whoever or whatever this is to appear and say melissa wake up! were here ...your not alone.
I tried to read my tarot cards but I think my mind is going 90 to nothing that none of it makes any sense and I become aggravated.
I start panicking about what is to come , will I be ready ? What do I need to know. dont get me wrong this site is awesome and I visit it often because it does make me feel good just to read blogs,and different things in the spiritual forum.
love and light
Melissa