Just Pondering My Journey

This is my first entry in the blog realm. I feel like I want to go on with.. Star Date.....

Anyway, I began my journey about 2 years ago. I am 45 and possibly a "late bloomer." Through various means, I have come to realize what my journey consists of, at least in part, helping people to find their power. I believe my role is to operate on some level in the realm of politics. Poly, meaning many. Tics, well we know what those are. It may be obvious that I am not thrilled with this realization.

I am seeking guidance daily, and I am brainstorming ways in which will be beneficial for all concerned. I do not feel like I am supposed to become a candidate for anything, thankfully, at least not yet. However, I support All That Is, related to Freedom and Liberty. I have always been a champion for the underdog. I recently left an 11 year career as a criminal defense investigator. It was a natural role for me. I knew it was time for me to leave because it was making me ill. It wasn't the darkness of the people I helped to represent, it was the darkness of the system.

My most challenging role, aside from learning to Love myself, is forgiving the system, and the individuals who make up that system. That system is a faceless bureaucracy by and large. I know that it is important to forgive the actors, but that I do not have to overlook the acts. I am here to work towards change, and I am not sure where to begin. I am hopeful that by putting my intentions out there I will gain more clarity.

Part of my confusion is that this feels so 3D to me.

What I know about my journey through past lives is that I have been on both ends of the power spectrum. Over the course of my many lifetimes, there are 2 that I am familiar with. I believe I have cleared the lifetime in which I was an oppressor, paid my dues, so to speak. However, the lifetime in which I was persecuted is the one I believe I am still trying to integrate, to complete.

I am told that it is safe for me to be who I am in this lifetime.

When I began my journey with Spirit I retreated from anything that felt negative, thus, bringing it to the fore was what I was really doing. I had always been very vocal, and suddenly I was no more, yet I was growing and becoming more centered. I have had a lot of work to do. I am much more willing to do the work than I was when I started!

However, I feel that I am again being told that I am a voice, and that I have much to accomplish. I am saying Oh Boy. I enjoy being a gentle spirit and I feel somewhat conflicted at the thought of having to use my voice assertively. There is also the fear of being attacked by those who do not wish to be exposed. This is where that past life comes into play. I feel my chest get heavy as I think the thoughts and type the words.

I keep telling myself that my mission is to effect change, and that effecting change is not a personal attack. Things and people on our 3D planet are so polarized, and I know that others attack the integrity of the individual when they are unable to deal directly with the issue. My intensions are to firmly and peaceably spread light. It's that firmly part that has me scratching my chin.

I am most grateful to anyone who might want to share their insights with me. Thank You.

In closing I would also like to thank Light Workers, and All of the Beautiful Spirits that Are.