symbolistartist's blog

When I posted my previous blog 'I am leaving' yesterday morning after some anxiety and a feeling of shock that my private space has once again been violated, I knew that I would have to follow up on it. I am not throwing out dramatic exclamations in order to get attention and compassion. That's also why I kept it short.

I seem to be attracting people here on this site who like to come down on me with a sledgehammer and condemn me for having trouble with an irreversible illness that I got as a child, and this is really getting me down. My symptoms could get better but my illness will never go away. I am therefore on disability and by that definition alone a second rate citizen.

I spent several years at the University of Helsinki in the 90s learning about the basic nature of reality being an illusion, but at the end of the day I learned nothing whatsoever of any use. Life was still the same. I was hoping I could arrive at some feeling of interconnectedness with all that is, and feel oneness. But it simply wasn't time.

Me and other sensitive people have been under a lot of attack during this summer, and many find it hard to cope with the hardships. I feel that while we should share, the opposite is happening and in fact many are withdrawing into themselves in order to survive. I've been thinking to and fro for quite some time if I should expose myself on the internet on public forums like this.

As I was reading the excerpt that accompanied Karen Bishop's latest energy alert I was a little taken a back - this time it was all about how people moving into higher frequencies will want to avoid the lower ones. The rest of the alert did in fact hit home as usual - there are many contradictions at play on the energetic level right now (check it out at www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/latest.htm).

When on the internet, it's easy to forget that many who have time to spend on it are suffering from chronic illnesses. Some here have been spreading this video on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and I am taking the liberty of doing the same: http://www.sleepydust.net/me-cfs-chronic-fatigue-syndrome-video.html .

Am I just imagining it, or are people actually ignoring me?

This is just to say that unfortunately all your wonderful comments are gone from the blog "please read my blog properly" because moderators of this site have decided to clear it out, apparently as I was expressing frustration. So, do not think ill of me, I did not wish for the comments to disappear as they were indeed dear to me. Alas!

ANGEL IN MY ROOM: Presenting the fabulous Swedish singer Eva Dahlgren: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2kBMZeGCo0 If this link doesn't work for you in your country, you can find the same song on this site: http://www.truveo.com/Angel-In-My-Room-Eva-Dahlgren/id/627825734.

The previous blog was written in sheer anger and frustration of being treated as a vile and hateful person who would discuss certain people on this site in public. I have not done so, only referred through a very old blog from the time I was on another site to a man who used the oh so common tactics to get me to surrender to his will.