Ayahuascamushroom

A person who had somthing divine happen to me semi randomly last summer (07) an energy activated inside my mind and body that was completely innocent like being born again I thought I was a chosen one or somthing to that extent I was discouraged by what was around me but changed effected and still have the energy running through me I am desperately trying to find the reason for the occurance I can feel and munipulate things around me in ways I only dreamed of as a child I was in a destructive relationship at the time of this occurance and she tried to pawn me off as bipolar but this was somthing diffrent than mood swings or hallucinations it was real it was for lack of better words in my vocabulary calm peacful bliss or God I was alive fearless and happy I allowed the negitive enrgy to take the best of it but I've lately been reclaiming it it comes in waves and at times I can control it but I need to know I know what I am to a point but I need or rather feel I need a reassurance of the energy that I seem to posess or rather am just an attenna for please for the love of all this worlds beauty has to offer help me a poor soul at a public library with true "magic" if you will running through my vains